Fighting negativity – Day three

This is the quote that greeted me on day three of my You Are A Badass At Habits course.

“Wanting can be done sitting on the couch with a bong in your hand and a travel magazine in your lap. Deciding means jumping in all the way and doing whatever it takes with the tenacity of a dateless cheerleader a week before prom night.”

  • Jen Sincero

For me, this means actually sitting down and getting on with the business of writing that novel I’ve been meaning to pen…for my whole life!!

What’s stopped me so far? The fact that I have had zero ideas for a novel. I’ve written several screenplays and lots of short stories, but a novel. How would I ever do that?

An acquaintance of mine is writing his autobiography. He is an electrician by trade and not a writer and his way of completing the task is to always write for 15 minutes each day. It’s a good plan. This means he does an hour and three quarters worth of writing each week – or seven hours a month. That’s 84 hours a year. It might not be a whole book, but it’s certainly getting there.

Jen’s video today was about being definite and not coming up with any excuses. I don’t have a great idea for a novel, but had to sit down and write something.

As it happens, I saw a billboard outside a church the other day that said ‘Jesus For Dinner’. It had a certain ring to it and I thought ‘What would happen if Jesus turned up at your doorstep? And you were a foul-mouthed person of loose morals with nothing but dislike for all things spiritual? That was an idea for a novel, surely?

A novel is a story and a story needs to be constructed and as soon as I sit down and try to ‘plan’ a story, my mind goes blank and it becomes an excuse not to write a word. I wasn’t going to let that stop me this time.

It was painful, but I sat down and wrote. I now have four pages of my first novel. They’re not good. I don’t like what I have written, but I am hoping that by exercising my ‘writing’ muscle, I’ll get better over time. I am also hoping that this thing they call universal intelligence will be my muse and I won’t keep churning out pages of codswallop.

This is all sounding rather negative. I felt all fired up after Jen’s video today, but the 15 minutes of writing has made me feel miserable. I tell myself I am not good enough. But then I stop. This is the thinking that’s got me where I am today. An author of precisely zero best-selling novels.

Did J.K Rowling sit in that café and tell herself she wasn’t good enough, probably not?

Whatever negative thoughts go through my mind, I must force myself to write 15 minutes each day. And to meditate. I have done both today and haven’t enjoyed either. And there is no sign of a million pounds landing in my lap anytime soon.

But this is a new chapter. At the end of today’s video, Jen said “You choose who you want to be – you choose to a badass. You got this.”

I have. I really have. There will be days when the plan seems not to be going to plan, but I must push through and never take my mind off the end goal.

Perhaps I should make Jesus homeless?

Now there’s an idea…

 

Today’s Manifesto

I am a money magnet. I am a natural born writer. I have dozens of best sellers in me just waiting to pour out. I am in control of my mind. My life. My finances. Money comes easily to me. I do not have to worry about it. Universal intelligence is my muse and I am connected to it. Yeah!

 

 

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