It’s been six months. I’ve tried, I really have, but for every positive affirmation I say, five negative ones spew from my lips. Every time I get all woo-hoo and excited about my badass attitude to life, it is followed by a slump and a feeling of hopelessness. Frankly, I am bored with the negative voice yabbering in my head. I am blocked and I need to move forwards, which is why, I have booked some sessions with a Journey practitioner.
This isn’t somebody who helps you plan a nice holiday. The Journey is a ‘healing and transformative’ technique which supposedly enables you to identify all your emotional blocks and negative patterns so that you may bin them. ‘So this diamond that is your essence, can live your life,’ says Brandon Bays, who founded the methodology.
I feel like a sink that is blocked. All the affirmations and whooping myself into a positive frenzy, are a bit like chucking some Mr Muscle down the plughole. It improves the flow momentarily, but pretty soon, things are all gunked-up again. I need the equivalent of DynoRod to come and sort me out.
The Journey technique will be intensive AND expensive. That is a challenge for someone like me with such money issues, but I have a choice; do I want to carry this baggage around for the rest of my life or free myself, heal my relationship with money and be the biggest badass I can be?
I am choosing the latter. As soon as I told this woman that I was committed and that I want to do this, I felt lighter. I knew in my gut it was the right thing to do. I am booked in for September (she has a waiting list) and this means I have plenty of time to think about it/freak out and change my mind.
I feel excited. I mean business. I can do this!
The big guns are out. I am on it. I am brave. I am a badass.