Vanishing trick – Day 233

Another day simply vanished before my eyes. Where the hell did it go? I wonder if it might have fallen behind the back of the sofa.

The day started with a ballet class (after I’d done 2 hours of work), then there were two long phone calls with clients. I shot off to do a two-hour podcasting lesson, ran back, cooked the supper and promptly fell asleep.

I felt as though I had achieved nothing, but I wonder if my expectations are too high. E-mails were fired off, ideas were spawned and I am on my way to becoming a fully fledged podcaster, oh and two more people offered to pay me money for my services. Things seem to be happening in twos.

I have four new smaller clients on the books. Between them, they pay as much as the big retainer client who has run out of cash. The good news is, they all paid-up promptly and one of them even thanked me profusely for getting a bit of coverage, even though that is what she paid me to do.

My dreams that night were horrific. Worse then the worst horror film you could ever hope to see. Part of it was a remnant of my time at the dentist with my daughter. She was having a baby tooth removed and at the age of 12, had never had any invasive dental treatment before.

She was terrified and I felt her pain as I am totally phobic about the dentist. I remember my own mother being impatient with me as I vomited through fear just as we were due to go into the surgery, so I tried to be as encouraging, calming and understanding as is humanly possible.

I did a great job. I stroked her hand throughout and gently explained what the dentist was doing, assuring her it wouldn’t hurt. All was well until I turned and saw the extracted tooth in a metal dish. It was covered in blood and had a root that was three times the length of the actual molar.

I suddenly felt sick and dizzy. I was close to fainting and knew this would embarrass my daughter no end. And me. Jesus, what grown woman faints at the sight of a milk tooth??

I had to pretend to get my phone out of my bag, so I could hang my head and let the blood rush back to it. I am pleased to say that I did not pass out, but it was a close call. For once, I managed to be good mother. That was probably my greatest achievement of the day come to think of it.

Personal manifesto

I am a good mother.

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