Tense, nervous headache – Day 270

I had what the painkiller adverts call a ‘tense, nervous headache today’ and all I could think was that it shouldn’t be so. I’ve been conscious resting, whispering to the universe and soaking in scented baths by candlelight – WHY THE HELL HAVE I GOT A HEADACHE?

It just so happens that I’d scheduled a call with my Journey practitioner. Not to do any kind of ‘process’ but just to chat through a few ideas I’d had. I was hoping we’d have a normal conversation, you know, I talk, she talks etc, but as soon as I picked up the phone, she asked me to close my eyes and take some deep breaths.

I think I have to accept that this is the way she likes to do phone calls. I felt a bit impatient as I was sinking into whatever, but as she always speaks a lot of sense I decided to go with it.

I complained that I had a headache and was hoping that I’d be floating through life like a cloud post Journey, but she suggested that perhaps I’d set my expectations too high. Life is still going to happen all around me. Things will piss me off, frustrate me, go wrong etc…it’s not going to be all rainbows, unicorns and angels.

Anyway, she suggested that these down times, when the body is ailing and I crave rest are actually a good thing. Apparently, in her experience, these are the moments when manifestation works really well. I hope so. I’ve written a list of all the lovely things I hope to bring into my life and if just one of them comes to pass I’ll be happy.

I ended the day with a ballet class. Ironically, my ballet teacher had a headache too, brought on by stress. She was driving down a motorway worrying about being late for a class. I wondered why she was giving herself such a hard time as I’m sure nobody in that class would have minded if she’d been late for once. It struck me that maybe I should take my own advice. I create my own stress and if I take a step back, I can see that it’s all really rather pointless. I need to get a handle on this. There are Anadin Extra packets all over my house and while it might be great for Pfizer who make them, it’s not good for me.

Personal manifesto

I love and honour myself at all times.

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