A gang of us gathered in an East End boozer last night to remember our friend Jack, a talented stand-up comedian who never quite realised his full potential. They played a recording of one of his routines and it felt strange to see him up there on the big screen, blue eyes blazing and face contorting effortlessly into a range of comedic expressions. Jesus, he was so full of life – how can he not be here any more?
Such a bright and brilliant talent. Gone. No more long, rambling and funny phone calls. What I wouldn’t give for one last chat. I hear his voice in my head sometimes with its lilting anglo-Irish cadence – he tells me that being dead is great and that I’ll really like it.
Is there anything of Jack left? Is he cracking jokes in another realm/parallel universe?
I’ve read a few books about near death experiences and in fact, a friend of mine had one after he’d slipped into a diabetic coma. I find tales of an afterlife filled with a dazzling blissful light and gatherings of departed relatives comforting, but I’m torn. I don’t know what to believe. Is there something beyond this life or is that it once we’re snuffed out?
Obviously, I’ll find out one of these days. If it’s the former and I get to go to the good place, then whoopee! Double whoopee if Ted Danson happens to be there. If not, well, I won’t know anything about it, will I?
I’ve been hanging out with a more spiritual crowd lately. I’ve lunched with people who speak to angels and others who think they have a direct line to God. They hold down demanding jobs and appear completely sane. Do they really know something that I don’t?
A friend of mine took some LSD at university and told me that under the influence, he understood the meaning of life. He said that we all have a purpose on this earth, which is mapped out before we are even born. It’s a belief he carried with him long after the affects of the drug had worn off. Another acquaintance experienced a similar acid trip and as a result, gave up a career in accountancy to become a gong bashing healer. It made me wonder if LSD might remove the filters through which we view reality. I’m not going to try this for myself because a) I am terrified of taking class A drugs and b) If you can’t buy it in Boots, then I wouldn’t know where to find it.
Questions, questions, questions and I have a feeling I will never find the answers.
Dear Jack, I hope death really is a blast and that one day, we’ll laugh together again. Oh and if you see my grandmother up there, can you tell her the one about the phone.
I love life.