Mardy cow – Day 283

I’ve been a mardy cow all day. I went to a mindfulness group and felt annoyed at how spiritually sorted everyone else was and then came back to discover that our boiler is kaput meaning there will be no hot water or heating this weekend – and possibly  next week and beyond, but let’s not think about that.

My husband attempted to light our wood burning stove to raise my spirits and warm the house, but managed to fill the room with smoke and create less heat than a lit match.  My 18-year-old son has comandeered the only electric fan heater in the house and is currently locked in his bedroom, lolling about in a pair of running shorts, acting as if he’s in the Maldives while I am sat here with two jumpers on. FFS!

Grrrr. Hiss. Spit.

And to make matters worse, I have got NO money and my biggest client is four months in arrears and having told me that ‘payment is going through right now’ twice in the past 10 days, I am losing hope of seeing that hard earned cash.

I desperately want a new carpet, but now we need to pay for a new boiler and a new water tank, so that’s that little luxury out of the window. Oh fuckety, fuck, fuck.

I’ve got some big decisions to make about my work and where I go next, but I’ll save that for Monday when I am not freezing my tits off.

There is a tiny speck of something lovely on the horizon – it’s ballet tonight. I hope she doesn’t work us too hard as I don’t fancy rinsing off the sweat with cold water. And breathe…

Personal manifesto

There is magic in the air, even if I can’t see it or feel it.

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