Small mercies – Day 285

I’ve been grateful for small mercies today. The first bonus has been the weather. Praise be for a warm weekend while our boiler is out of action. I had a luxurious shower at my sister’s house yesterday and this morning, I was on the other side of the tracks, washing myself down with the help of a Poundland bucket.

My big client paid me today. They are four months in arrears and chose to pay me one month, to keep me quiet no doubt. How have I allowed a client to treat me like this? Tomorrow I will inform them that I will not work on the account until all outstanding invoices are settled. If I don’t behave like a serious business, I can’t expect to be treated like one.

I spent a long time cancelling various subscriptions today. It’s actually a relief that the wheels have come off the PR business. It means my working life is a blank slate. The next adventure could take me anywhere. The question is, do I have it in me to keep the faith? I am not sure. On the one hand, I want to continue on my badass path and see this as a blip, on the other, I’m like ‘What the actual fuck? Enough.’

I’ve had a text from our letting agent who looks after two properties we own on the coast. The tenant is moving out of our flat next month and the ceiling is about to come down in the other property, thanks to a shower that has been leaking for about a year. The plumbers have been worse than useless and so far, we’ve spent about £1,000 on repairs – they fitted the blasted shower in the first place.

It’s the same here in our house. The roof has been leaking for three years. I’ve spent £6,000 on repairs and each time, in comes the water again. I know it is causing damage, but can’t face spending yet another £2,000 only for the work to fail. Roofers like plumbers, don’t guarantee their work. Funny that.

So yeah, money is leaving the building and we’re coming up to Christmas so my only option is to keep telling myself that all will be well. I have a prosperous mantra that I write each day that begins ‘My life cannot be limited. My income cannot be limited…etc etc’ . I have written it over and over and if anyone were to look at my journal, they’d think it the rantings of a mad woman.

According to Jen Sincero, it’s just a case of living in the moment. She says:

”Being present gets you out of your head and connects you to Source Energy, which raises your frequency, which attracts things of like frequency to you. And all of those high-frequency things and experiences are already here, just waiting for you to join the party, all you have to do is shut up, show up, and usher them in.”

Is it really that simple? I’m just glancing at the list of ‘desires’ I wrote in my journal following the Journey process I did in September. None of them have come to pass. Not one.I keep reading that the universe can’t be hurried, but honestly, I wish it would get a shift on.

Personal manifesto

My life and my income are immense!

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