It’s been a day of unadulterated pleasure seeking. I have barely done a scrap of work. I took my Dad to lunch and marvelled at how well he looks given that he is 86 with stage III cancer or is it stage IV now that it has spread? I don’t know, but it doesn’t really matter – he’s almost got chubby cheeks again!
I waved goodbye to him, came into town and walked along the river, which looked glorious in the freezing fog. I am in a cafe round the corner from the ballet school as I’m meeting a friend for a class, which will be followed no doubt, by a good old chin wag.
In amongst the good times today, I also managed to be truly present for a few moments, seconds only, but it is something I am sure I will get better at over time. I’m starting with being aware of my surroundings. It’s surprising what you miss. I saw things today that I have never noticed in places I have passed a thousand times or more.
I told Dad that I have signed myself up for a silent retreat next weekend. It’s only a day, but he said ‘You’ll barely get through the front door before you start talking.’ He’s got a point. I talk a LOT, which is why I think it will be so good for me to stop. Personally I can’t wait for some peace and quiet. I am hoping that my brain will be flooded with creative ideas, but I wonder if I will simply curl up in a corner and sob. I just don’t know, but I am willing to surrender to the experience and see what happens.
I embrace inner calm.