The voice of judgement – Day 304

Listen to this…

She should not be wearing leggings with an arse the size of the Isle of Wight. I refuse to give money to a beggar who has a better mobile phone than me. He’s letting those kids get away with murder – what a terrible dad.

That is the voice of judgement and it rings loud and clear in my head. I judge others and I judge myself. Harshly. I’ve been doing it all my life and to be honest, I’ve never given it a moment’s thought. I like being right and it feels good when you think you are better than everyone else, doesn’t it?

Then something happened. Another person listened to me bare my soul with compassion and without judgement. It was an incredible feeling, so powerful it switched on a lightbulb in my head. Perhaps I could do the same. Why don’t I stop judging others and myself? I mean really, what’s stopping me?

So here I am, trying to do just that. I’m kind of getting the hang of it, but old habits die hard. The inner critic’s voice still spews forth in my mind and I have to make a conscious effort to stop it. ‘Sorry. No judgement allowed here. Please move on.’

It’s better for me, for those who know me and those who don’t. So please, rest assured that if you are bigger than a size 8 and happen to walk past me in a pair of leggings, I will not judge you for it…unless they are white 😉.

 

Personal manifesto

I’m a big bouncy ball of love.

 

3 comments

  1. Oh girl, you are speaking with the voice of reason, there! Since I’ve been practising not-expressing my judgments, it’s made a huge difference — not only in my relationship with my taller half, but in my awareness of my own motivations and feelings. It has brought me to a much deeper understanding of myself. This is a huge step forward for me, and I bet you will find the same for you.

    One thing to notice is that judgmental thoughts still come, but THEY are not YOU. They are just thoughts. They aren’t always true. They aren’t even always what you *really* believe, when you consider them a while. They’re just thoughts. Thoughts thoughts thoughts. Not you. Not me. Just thoughts.

    • That’s encouraging to hear Fairweather. The thoughts come thick and fast – sometimes the words come out of my mouth before I have even had a chance to think! One step at a time…

      • At first, it felt very wrong. Why not say what I think, when I think it? Then I realized I was creating situations I didn’t like, but I felt “silenced” by the negative responses. Anyway, in time it seemed to leave more space for me to feel out my own intentions/reasons for making the comments I was making, which truly weren’t necessary. Why did I want to make them in the first place? I wanted to judge someone else. Why? I didn’t like what I was seeing. I wanted it to change. I wanted to control my reality. You see where I’m going with this? It all came back to ME.
        I’m still observing, and learning. Will it get me where I want to go? Who knows. It certainly has improved much of my present.

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