Sorry, did somebody say something? Shhhhhhhh. I’m just back from my day-long silent retreat and still bathing in the bliss that is absolute peace and quiet – or at least I was until the kids started arguing over which takeaway they wanted. The whole idea was to shut them up with food, but I guess that didn’t work…
OMG. The silence. It was soooo soothing.
If you read this blog regularly, you’ll know that I was really looking forward to today, but it surpassed my expectations, which is odd as I didn’t know what to expect. I just wanted to get away from the noise that is my life and my mind.
The chattering in my head abated about an hour into proceedings, when I then had a lengthy and most enjoyable conversation with my late friend Jack. I told him that I planned to eat my packed lunch in a nearby graveyard and he replied: ‘You won’t find much spirit in the graveyard. That’s where they put the bodies and we’re not interested in them. We’re with the people and places we love.’
‘But if you are here with me, what about your poor mum? ‘ I asked.
‘I’m with her too,’ he said. ‘I’m everywhere.’
I wanted to carry on this mental conversation, but Jack and his sister who joined us, said they had to go because I needed to do the rest of the day on my own.
The sun came out momentarily and warmed my face as I ate my cheese and marmite sandwiches in the graveyard. When I returned to the centre, I felt beyond chilled as I gazed out of the window with a cup of tea in my hands. I can’t remember the last time I felt that relaxed.
In the afternoon, I noticed that my usual defences were down and I was okay with that. I also felt a deep connection with others. There was a softness about me that doesn’t often appear, which is a shame as I think I am nicer for it.
Silence really is golden. It felt like an old friend today and I wonder why I have neglected it for so long. I think it’s high time we became properly reacquainted.
The silence never leaves me.