Panic over? – Day 315

This morning I noticed that the low level panic I carry with me everywhere, has gone. In fact, it’s been missing ever since the silent retreat I did on Sunday. By jove, I think I have achieved inner calm!

Okay, let’s not be too hasty here as I am an up and down kind of person and this could be the next up. Something has shifted though, it’s very subtle, but definitely a step in the right direction.

I am certainly not in a panic about work, which is rather wonderful considering the cash isn’t exactly rolling in. The exciting opportunities are though. I have a meeting next week with a prospective dream client – a company that makes quirky products and has NO social media presence whatsoever. They want somebody highly creative to come up with content. I mean really, that just has to be me!

I’ve also had an enquiry about doing some social media for a breathing instructor. Yes, I know we all breathe without thinking about it, but breathing properly is another matter. I don’t know about you, but I notice how shallow my own breathing is whenever I am asked to take a deep breath during a guided meditation. Oh hark at me, I really am sounding very new age aren’t I?

I think I am going sane. All this stuff that sounded very woo woo to me as little as a few months back, is starting to make a lot of sense. Some of it I still don’t quite understand, but I can feel it changing me for the better. As Jen Sincero says ‘This shit really works.’

I am so excited about working with a spiritual mentor next year and I am currently trying to work out if I can afford another silent retreat. Really, it would be much cheaper and simpler to find my own silence, but how? I am never alone in this house, so where would I go? I need a bolt hole, a place I can go to where I don’t have to talk, answer phones or stare at a screen. I saw a wooden pod on Facebook earlier plonked in the middle of nowhere, that’s what I need and I’m going to put it on my wish list for 2019.

Personal manifesto

I have inner calm.

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